All Quotes, George Carlin

55+ George Carlin Quotes

Geroge Carlin is one of the most successful and influential standup comedians of all time. Carlin is gained wild fame for his black humor and counterculture comedy. Geroge Carlin started his stand up career in 1959, when he teamed up with Jack Burns. The two formed a short-lived comedy team. The Burns and Carlin at the Playboy Club Tonight is the first album of the duo. By the year 1962, Carlin appeared on tv. Geroge Carlin acted in a movie for the first time in 1968. Geroge Carlin authored several books, including his autobiography.

Geroge Carlin was born in Manhattan on May 12, 1937. His father, Patrick John Carlin, was an Irish Immigrant. He was the younger of two brothers. As a kid, Geroge Carlin attended the Corpus Christi School in Morningside Heights. He went to Cardinal Hayes High School, Bishop Dubois High School, and the Salesian High School. Geroge Carlin joined the U.S. Air Force. In the airforce, Carlin got his training on radar technology. He faced the court-martial three times. Finally, he received a general discharge on July 29, 1957. His superiors Labeled him as an unproductive airman. He started working in KXOL, a Texan radio station. From here, he started his journey as a stand-up comedian. He started doing stand up routines on radio and television. Carlin gained his prominence as an actor from the comedy hit Outrageous Fortune. The audience widely accepted his supporting role in the comedy hit. Geroge Carlin changed his comic style and appearance. At the beginning of his career, he appeared conventionally for the time. By 1970, he started to bring change in his appearance. Geroge Carlin grew long hair than before and sported a beard, which was not so common for comedians at the time. He started adopted the style of radical social commentary comedy from then. The Seven dirty words routine was one of the major he ever performed. Geroge Carlin appeared on some of the most successful shows of the television industry. The spread on The Tonight Show, as himself in 1962 for the first time. In 1984 Geroge Carlin published his first written work, Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help. Last Words, the autobiography of Geroge Carlin, was published in 2009.

Geroge Carlin is considered one of the most influential figures in the history of standup. In his five-decade-long career, Geroge Carlin has changed many things about stand up comedy. He attracted younger audiences to the art with his new material and perspectives. Rolling stone placed Geroge Carlin in second place among 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time. The magazine titled Geroge Carlin as The hippie sage, the M.I.T.-level linguist, the First Amendment activist, the undisputed champion gadlfy of stand-up. We are honoring the legend Geroge Carlin with 58 of his most vibrant quotes.


People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. George Carlin
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin
Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you. George Carlin
The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin
Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? George Carlin
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin
Always do whatever's next. George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. George Carlin
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. George Carlin
A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. George Carlin
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin
We’ve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin
If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin
Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away. George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. George Carlin
If you have selfish ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. George Carlin
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin
One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin
The planet is fine. The people are fucked. George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor. George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin
If you can’t say something nice about a person, go ahead. George Carlin
It's never just a game when you're winning. George Carlin
To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn’t need guidance from. George Carlin
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. George Carlin
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? George Carlin
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? George Carlin
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin
When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin
It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot. George Carlin
Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. George Carlin
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin
Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin
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